Three Weeks Out: Another Post About Fears

I'm about three weeks out from departure and it is beginning to feel like crunch time. Even though I still have the full three weeks, I no longer have the whole summer spread out before me. I still have things to buy and to arrange and the clock ticks closer every day. Any procrastination will easily lead to last-minute panic.

I'm really trying to avoid last minute panic.

Just to show you how close I really am, here is this awesome countdown:

COUNTDOWN FOR WEBSITE

Stress and a bit of nerves began to kick in this week. I experienced some cold feet, but there is no backing out now. Writing this blog has actually helped me a lot in terms of getting my thoughts and fears out as well as affirming my decision. While we were both still in disbelief,  my mom gave me many options to back out, repeatedly asking, "Are you *SURE* you want to do this?" I had to explain to her that I was completely unsure, but i it was what I wanted to do and I needed her to back me up on it when I inevitably got scared. Mom, the time has come. Hugs are needed.

 The thing that keeps bringing me back to earth lately is something I was told in a high school assembly. Who knew those would EVER be useful or relevant?

 My German class went to a speaker who was promoting high school exchange programs. She explained that many people justify not traveling because they fear what they will miss out on events at home. She then went on to say that those who stayed at home had only gossip to discuss while their friends who traveled had amazing adventures and stories to relay.

 While there are some wonderful things I could be doing in Denver this fall--like starting my physics sequence and jumpstarting my work with Ameri-corp, Never Again, and AIPAC-- these things will be there in the Winter when I return. I know that my decision to travel is the right one for me. While my fears will certainly not be erased after my first step in Chiang Mai, I know that my anxieties are worth conquering.

 My sense of adventure has always been tempered with a healthy dose of fear and I have always preferred but-scooting down the hill screaming (in fear) over running head-first down the hill screaming (with joy); but four years ago, I learned everything I needed to know about fear while on a trampoline. I kept failing to land a back flip, flailing as I repeatedly landed askew. Frustrated and covered in sweat, I realized that fear and nothing else was keeping me from my flip. It is too easy to fall victim to fear. If you let it, fear will keep you from achieving your greatest goals and dreams.

Four years ago I made the commitment to be fearless in my approach to life. It has led me to so many amazing things including donating blood, weight lifting, rock climbing, auditions, and travel. It has led me here, as my junior year study abroad program looms approaches. Stepping off the plane in August will only be the first step of an incredible journey that I am anxiously excitedly waiting to begin.